As I looked to the sunrise (which was truly beautiful), I’m trying to figure out what it all means. I’m unsure, I’m hesitant, but I’m hopeful. After 90 minutes of devotions and prayers, I had a lot more questions than answers. I set out to get clarity the only way I knew how: lace up the shoes and hit the track.
I looked at my iPod telling me to hit the center button to begin my workout, I was flooded with so many thoughts. It’s too early; You haven’t been running in two weeks; You didn’t get enough rest; So what you got called out about your laziness? You have nothing to prove… I pushed those thoughts aside and started.
Fired up, fired up, plenty sun, fired up…
I started to pick up the pace as the USMC cadence repeated itself into my earbud. As I made my way around the corner I could only think “Don’t settle.” Don’t settle for 1K when you can push for 2. More than the distance, I needed some demands settled. Why do I have all these questions? Where are the answers? Why am I in a place that is so unfamiliar and how do I get out? Despair and determination danced around in my head to a sardonic and endless waltz. I’m unable to break up the pair or change the song, so I keep running.
When I walk, there are no answers; when I jog there is still silence, so I put all of my hope into a sprint. Rounding the corner of the track I better my pace but worsen my situation. The improper foot strike and resulting knee sprain tells me I’m trying to do too much to soon.
You must endure…
While it’s not what I wanted, I finally have my answer. Dejected, I walk back home. Looking at my iPod, I notice the similarities between the product and it’s owner: one side is broken, hanging by a thread; the other, bruised but battle tested, ready for more.
I walk through the door and note my run: 23 minutes, 2.58K, 218 calories. I’m not happy with the results, but won’t let this dissuade me.
The shoes and the iPod rest quietly by the door, chiding me not to settle. As much as I want to settle, I won’t. I’ll meet them again 5:30am tomorrow morning.